[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

stopped, reconsidered, and instead, used the
tips of her fingers to softly brush my long
and scraggly bangs off my face.
 You re growing up, she said, her voice as
soft and wonderful as I remembered it.
Though the words were not at all true,
causing me to shake my head, saying,  No,
no, I m not. I m just exactly the same as you
left me. But I want to grow up. I really, really
242/299
do. And I was kind of hoping you could
help.
She sat back on her heels, her long blond
hair draped over her shoulders, hanging
down to her waist.  Riley Bloom? Asking for
help? She tossed her head back and stole a
few moments to laugh.  Are you sure you re
my sister and not some crazy imposter? She
tapped lightly on my forehead, stared hard
into each eye.
And though I laughed too, willingly going
along with the joke, I have to admit her
words kinda stung.
It was true that I never asked for help, and
maybe that was also part of the problem. The
Council had told me to consult with them,
and once again, I d totally ignored it, chosen
to go my own way. But those days were over.
I was ready, willing, and completely and
totally desperate to soak up any words of
wisdom my sister could give me.
243/299
 Ever, I was hoping &  I mashed my lips
together, gazed all around, knowing I needed
to hurry, that she could wake at any second
and my chance would be blown.  Well, I was
hoping you could tell me how to be thirteen.
She squinted, her face gone suddenly seri-
ous, her hand lightly clasping mine when she
said,  Thirteen just happens, Riley. It s not
something you can force.
Yes, I was becoming all too aware of that,
Balthazar had said pretty much the exact
same thing. But while I knew she couldn t
help me become thirteen, I thought maybe
she could at least help me to act it, which in
turn might spur things along.
 Okay, well, here s the thing, I told her,
my fingers grazing over the crystal horseshoe
bracelet her boyfriend gave her, the one she
always wore.  Turning thirteen isn t
something that will just happen for me.
I m  I started to say I m dead, but not
knowing if she was aware of that in her
244/299
dream state, I didn t want to startle her and
possibly risk waking her, so instead I just
said,  It s & different for me. It s something I
have to learn how to achieve.
She shook her head, made a face of impa-
tience, eager for me to understand.  But
that s the thing, you can t force it. Nor can
you achieve it. It ll come when you re ready
and no sooner, I m afraid.
To be honest, that only made me more
frustrated. It was all the same stuff I d
already heard. I mean, so far all I d manage
to get out of Bodhi, Balthazar, and now her
were the same, vague, mostly unhelpful
statements.
You can t force it!
You can t achieve it!
It happens when it happens!
Bipiddy blah blah.
Channel your emotions was the only solid
lead that I had, but it wasn t enough. I knew
there was more.
245/299
 I know you re in a rush. She nodded in-
tently.  And I know you probably won t see it
this way, but really, you should consider
yourself lucky. You ll turn thirteen when
you re ready, no sooner. Can I tell you a
secret? She leaned toward me until our
noses were just millimeters apart.  When my
thirteenth birthday came, I didn t feel the
least bit ready.
Wha?
I leaned back, stunned. Remembering her
thirteenth birthday so clearly the party our
parents gave her, the mad crush of friends
that filled up the entire den until they spilled
out into the backyard. Remembering how
surprised I was to see how boys had made
the guest list for the first time in a long time.
But mostly I remembered how badly I
wanted to be a part of it all. How I kept mak-
ing excuses to join them, and how our par-
ents kept urging me to leave her alone, to
leave her and her friends to their teenaged
246/299
fun. Assuring me that someday I d get a thir-
teenth birthday party too, and then I d
understand &
I looked at my sister, convinced she d only
said that to make me feel better. I mean, ser-
iously, she was pretty much the picture of the
teen dream come true.
 It seemed like suddenly, practically
overnight, all of my friends were obsessed
with lip gloss and boys. She arched her
brow, flashed a quick grin.  And I felt like in
order to fit in, I had to pretend I was into
that too. The first time I slow danced at the
seventh grade mixer, my stomach was so
twisted with nerves I thought I was going to
hurl on that poor boy s shoulder. She
laughed, flicked her fingers through her hair.
 But honestly, none of it really felt right until
around age fourteen. Maybe even fourteen
and a half. I pretty much just faked it  til
then. But you re nothing like me, Riley. You
don t have a single thing to worry about. You
247/299
were sneaking my lip gloss from the moment
I started wearing it. She laughed and
chucked me under the chin.  You re ready, I
can tell. There must be something else that s
holding you back.
So, that s it, I thought. She really didn t
know any better than I what that crucial
thing might be. And while that was all fine
and good, I wasn t ready to end it just yet.
Though I could see the grass starting to
shrink, to creep in on itself, as her attention
started to fade.
 What about boys? I blurted, determined
to squeeze as much out of the moment as I
could.  And making friends? How did you do
that so easily? How did you get everyone to
love and admire you? How did you become
so popular? I asked, my voice frantic, all too
aware of time running out.
She was distracted, losing focus, and I was
pretty sure that I d lost her when she re-
turned to me and said,  Boys? She grinned.
248/299
 My baby sister wants to know about boys!
She tossed her head back and laughed. And
even though I cringed at the word  baby, I
didn t let on. I was too busy urging her on.
 Well, for starters, never forget that they re
just as nervous as you are. Remember when I
told you about that dance and how I thought
I would hurl? Well, what I didn t tell you is
that the boy s hands were so clammy and
sweaty he left two permanent sweat stains on
my blue satin top. He totally wrecked it and
it was brand-new! She rolled her eyes,
tucked her hair behind her ear.  They re
cute, no doubt, but sometimes they act like
such dorks. It takes a while for them to figure
it out. Believe me, I know, my boyfriend s six
hundred years old! She quirked her brow
and shrugged.  Just be sensible, Riley just
be yourself. And never, ever, allow yourself
to lose your head over any of them, okay? As
for making friends? She smiled, butted her
knee against mine.  Easy-peasy isn t that
249/299
what you say? The key to making friends is
to be a good friend. She paused, allowing
her words to sink in, but I hoped she
wouldn t pause too long, I could feel the
dream starting to fade.  And what was your
last question? About popularity and how to
get people to love and admire you? She [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]