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Cassandra touched the orb and the picture faded as my true collapse began. I remembered
it all now. The keening, the wailing, the crawling through the blood of my team, screaming
for help. Losing, losing, losing my mind. I sent her a grateful glance for sparing me the
humiliation of an audience for at least that part of my journey through hell.
"I am so sorry," she said, swiping at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She kept trying,
and failing, to meet my eyes. Maybe she thought I intended to punish the messenger. And,
okay, the thought had crossed my mind. Very briefly.
"I'm not mad, Cassandra" I said. I struggled to explain. "For me, it's always better to
know. There was so much I couldn't remember about that night, so much I needed to
understand. Now, I guess I do."
"Yeah, but can you believe it?" asked Bergman. "I sat here and watched the whole thing
and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you're "
I cocked my head at him. "Alive? Or should I say undead?"
Vayl took my hand, laced his fingers with mine. "Welcome to the club."
Eventually the shock faded, replaced by our pressing need to rescue Cole and my own
personal desire to reduce Aidyn to so much vapor. Vayl's focus remained on Assan, as it
should. And we hoped to find all three at Alpine Meadows.
Everybody sort of wandered off, leaving me free to do what I needed. So I worked.
Packing our gear calmed me more than anything. The familiar movements through my
memorized checklist made me feel, well, real. I spent extra time cleaning Grief, making
sure she was fully loaded and ready to smoke. I found new pockets for the toys Bergman
had provided that I wasn't actually wearing, and stowed the rest of our stuff where it
belonged. I came more fully back to myself when I banged my head on the van door while
loading it, and finally understood why sometimes people just need to be pinched.
We left Bergman elbow deep in blood tests and Cassandra up to her eyeballs in some
musty old books she'd brought with her. If worse came to worse, as I find it often does,
maybe she could figure out how to bind the Tor-al-Degan before it had a chance to
unleash whatever hellish plague Aidyn had drummed up. She was sure giving it the old
college try. She'd read for awhile, find something pertinent and whisper it to the
Enkyklios. She hadn't gotten the marbles to move by the time we headed for the van, but
hopefully it was just a matter of time.
Behind the wheel again, I maneuvered the van through traffic without once swearing at
the red Volkswagen that cut me off or the light blue Taurus that hugged my bumper like a
lost and lonely child. When it finally turned off our street, Vayl heaved a sigh of relief. "I
expected you to slam on the brakes if that man followed you any closer."
"The thought never crossed my mind."
He sat silent and stared at me for so long I started to squirm. "What?" I finally asked.
"Are you going to change now?"
The question took me back. "Shouldn't I?"
He frowned. Then the mask came back, settling over his face like a shroud. "Of course.
Never mind."
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"Look, Vayl, it's& reliving the nightmare& this new knowledge& it's too much, you
know? I don't know how to act. Hell, I don't know what to think." I shook my head. "It's
too big for me to figure out all at once. So I'm just going to be Jaz Parks, Albert's
daughter, Dave and Evie's sister, and Vayl's avhar for now. If I need to tack another label
on later," Angel? Demon? Zombie? "I guess there's room there at the end of the list."
Vayl's eyes snapped to my face when I said "avhar," and stayed there until I met them with
my own. The shroud lifted and he smiled. "I like your plan."
"Is that what it is?"
"Yes."
"How about my idea to rescue Cole?"
"I like it too. Where are the smoke grenades?"
"In the duffle with everything else."
"What about this new communications invention Bergman gave you?"
"Might as well try it out." I pulled the silver case from my jacket pocket and gave it to [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]