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 Sir? he said slowly.
 I want you to give the damnation of one particular mortal your special
attention.
Agonostis didn t want to know, but he looked at his lord and master and asked,
 Who, sir?
The Archfiend s grin was especially evil as he said,  Dayne Teresa Kuttner, of
course.
Agonostis would have wept if he could have. Those people who could request
major favors from
God like the Unchaining of nearly sixty thousand Hellspawn, for example and
get God to answer were not people whose damnation he wanted to hear depended
on him. He felt suddenly that he knew how Shedhurdzashel had felt when he d
been commanded to corrupt Billy Graham.
The Malevolent One patted him on the head.  I know how you would loathe being
an imp, Agonostis.
So don t let me down on this.
 No, Your Loathsomeness. Agonostis was remem-bering the imp he d eaten
earlier in the day for bringing his daily paperwork to him late. He didn t
want to be an imp at all.
 Well, then. You d best hurry. The rest of the away team is already
packing you re to leave in one hour. I ll expect you to stop by the main
office on your way out to pick up a list of your orders and rules and my . . .
suggestions. I ll expect you to find ways around God s rules, too.
 How are we to get . . . out?
Lucifer shrugged.  God is providing the transportation on this. I have no idea
what method he intends to use.
Agonostis nodded silently and turned away again, and again Lucifer stopped
him.  There s no time limit on the rest of the assignment, but I want Dayne
Kuttner s soul in my ledger in thirty days.
Agonostis shoulders drooped.
Thirty days?
Without a word, he left the throne room and climbed up the stairs, which
stretched evilly on the way back up simply because he was depressed and
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returned to his office, still dragging.
Jezerael, swearing mightily, was throwing things out of Agonostis desk when
he got there. The other fallen angel glared up at him, and without a word,
went back to flinging things that didn t belong to her across the cubicle.
Agonostis spirits lightened.  Heard you got a pro-motion, he said.
Jezerael s swearing got louder.
 Heard you re going to get Fornication back on line. Agonostis chuckled.
 Though with all those awful plagues Earthside, I ll be very interested to see
how you do that. He clucked his tongue and shook his head in mock solicitude.
Jezerael threw an obscene gesture and said,  I heard you got a motion.
de
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Agonostis smiled at her.  Sixty thousand of Hell s finest doing my bidding, a
main office and satellite branch offices, and a vacation someplace cool and
green I don t know that I d call that a demotion.
 The grapevine . . .
 . . . Is full of sour grapes, Jezerael. You know that.
Agonostis picked up his belongings before Jezerael could break any more of
them and strolled out of the office looking cheerful. He didn t allow his
depression to show again until he was back in his quarters.
Then, however, he dropped into his wing-back chair and buried his head in his
hands and muttered to himself.
 Keep all of Hell s little devils in line, Agonostis. Don t let them repent,
Agonostis. Make money, Agonostis. Bring me Dayne Kuttner s soul, Agonostis. In
one month
, Agonostis. And she s going to take one look at me and kneel and clasp her
hands and say,  God, get that thing out of here,
and Bam! there I ll be. Agonostis the Grease Stain. Maybe I should just spit
in Lucifer s face and let him turn me into an imp now.
He had one hour to get ready.
Less than one hour the steps from Hell had eaten some of that time.
He sat up and stiffened his spine and took a deep breath.
 Agonostis, he told himself,  you ve dragged more souls into Hell than any
other Hellspawn in existence. You ve dragged the mightiest and the purest
through the mire, and you had fun doing it. He nodded sharply.  What you told
Jezerael wasn t a lie. You ve been made commander of your own army almost
sixty thousand strong, and surely the worst Hell has to offer. He grinned.
 And you re operating with God s permission.
There was an American phrase that came to mind shooting fish in a barrel.
 That s it, he said.  This is shooting fish in a barrel. And as for Dayne
Kuttner well, Agonostis, you ve never had the opportunity to go one-on-one [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]